Our beautiful blessing...

So Llewellyn had blogged about the birth, but unfortunately his blog was deleted during editing :(
Hope you were lucky enough to read his awesome blog and his perspective on the birth... so here is the story from my point of view.

First of all, let us take a minute to look at this gorgeous little pepe...

Nawwwwwwwwww....

Arianwyn Hana-O-Te-Rangi Wright

Arianwyn is Welsh for 'pure' or 'white silver'. Hana-O-Te-Rangi is Maori and means 'brightness of the heavens.' 

I think Ari's names go nicely together because they read 'Pure brightness of the heavens.'

Born 28th December 2013, 11am, 8lb.

Lets start at the very beginning, a very good place to start... 

It all began on Friday 27th December at approximately 6.30pm. During a delightful conversation with my mum over the phone, I heard a 'pop' followed by a huge torrent of gushing water broke free like a river un-dammed after a long 9 months. "Uhm mum, hold on a minute"... "LLEWELLYN, MY WATERS JUST BROKE!"... "ahhh mum my waters just broke. I gotta go. Talk to you soon."... Was I nervous? Not yet... Excited? Understatement of the year!

Waters had broken but it wasn't for an hour or so before any contractions began so in the meantime to try and keep my excitement at bay, I journeyed up and down our cul-de-sac getting my curb walk on. Meanwhile, Haydn and Jessie pop in and join us in the excitement. I'm sure Jessie was over the moon with hope that her little dream of me going into labour at home for her to deliver baby, would come to pass. ;) My parents arrive, excited of course, mum, surprisingly, a tad bit nervous. However, although the process had begun, it was only early days before any real action would occur. So then begins a bit of a waiting game. We get the car prepared, carseat, babies pre-packed bag, my bag etc. fill the car... still not much action. So we continue to plod around the house keeping ourselves busy. Contractions come on at about 8.30pm, very mild, all over the place varying  between 7-10 minutes apart and no cause for urgency. Come 10.30pm, we decide it might be a good time to head up to Hamilton to avoid travelling with intense contractions.

It was surprising we didn't get pulled over on the way up. Not for exceeding the speed limit, but for lack of speed our driver was going. In Llewellyn's defence, he had a feeling we were going to be too early for the birth centre to take us, so a cruisy drive it was. He was on the money with that one! Contractions weren't much faster, as they began to spread out in time. We arrive at the birth centre and the midwives check me only to find out that I hadn't even dilated!!! So off we were to a Hotel just up the road to wait for the time being. I tell you, there is a lot of waaaaaaaaaaaiting and waaaaaaaaaaaiting during pregnancy! One sure milestone to help teach you some patience. At this stage, my parents are on the road and on their way to Hamilton and join us to wait in the hotel. It's pretty late by the time they get there so they are pretty smashed and soon crash out. MAAAAAAAAAAAATE... I liken that experience to being in a peaceful forest and then all of a sudden a pair of chainsaws start up and go on and on and on and on! Hahaha... Yes, fair to say, there was little rest to be had for Llewellyn and myself. Besides, I had crazy contractions that went on and on, as they do. I was getting desperate to go back to the birthing centre. I was changing positions, trying to get comfortable to help deal with the pain, but it starting to get to me and the pain was wearing me down. 

2.30am and I beg to go back to the birthing centre. We arrive and I break down as Llewellyn drives off to park the car. The on-shift midwife lets me in, takes me to the room and settles me down. My midwives arrive, do their check over and find that I am 7cm dilated! But it's still early days so more waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiting but in the meantime, I request some pain relief. Gas was on the menu! I'm instructed to only suck on the gas as during contractions... I'm also instructed to get some rest and with the gas, I manage to get a bit of rest and Llewellyn curls up on the couch for a kip as well. Now this is where things start to get a bit hazy for me, perhaps due to my gas intake? (I had to be reminded, actually probably more like firmly reminded, to take it easy on the gas before I knock myself out! I think I needed "reminding" a couple of times!).

It seems like forever before anything starts happening. The series of small events that follow are really only snippets of what happened. I remember trying to move around a lot, so walking, sitting in different positions etc. to help with it all, to reserve my energy I spoke very little often just saying "water", "hot" etc. Somewhere along the way we decided to run the birthing pool, thinking that may be a good way to bring things on.... Boy was that soooooooooooo wrong! It was like sitting in a relaxing-not-so-relaxing spa, 38 degrees Celsius, and everyone knows how that feels. Well it slowed everything down from slow and steady to freeeeeeeeeeeeeak'n waiting for snail mail to arrive from outer space! Decide to get out of that stupid pool and carry on as we were. Then from that all I really remember is sitting vertical with the bed upright, facing the mattress, wishing the contractions would speed up and hang around long enough for a decent party before disappearing again! This is where things started to get REALLY hard and EXTREMELY frustrating. My contractions were so short that I didn't have enough time to give a decent push and my pitiful attempts were exhausting my body and spirit. I was becoming more and more emotional and feeling quite hopeless at this stage. The midwives tell me I am doing good and I feel myself getting a bit upset that it just isn't happening. Then I start demanding that they take me to the hospital, give me a C section because I "just want her out!" I remember saying that... telling them to "get her out of me!" Much to everyone's amusement, well I was less than amused that they said no. I start screaming in pain and was reminded that screaming was a waste of my energy so then I tried really hard to focus that energy into the biggest "Kemehameha's" any Super Saiyan has ever seen. 

So while all of this is happening, in my mind I can hear myself saying over and over again "I am so not doing this again. Catch this up." but I could only say it in my head because I didn't want Llewellyn to hear hahaha...

Eventually, the midwives inform that there is progress and they can see babies head. I feel ecstatic but the feelings that follow are disheartening as I ask "how much longer?" followed by a bit of apprehension to answer the question, which was something like... "aaaaaah well usually at this stage woman take another 2 to 3 hours." "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." I couldn't believe what I was being told. I was so upset, I was feeling so useless, I was feeling like it was never ever going to end. I could see the pain Llewellyn was feeling for me.

Nevertheless I was mad keen to get to that finish line, so onward we went. Let's spare you some details, fast forward and cut this long story short... about an hour and a half later, after thinking the cord was wrapped around baby, and her top shoulder coming out first, finally... POP and out she came! I tell you, that is best feeling of relief. I read this thing on Facebook the other day about that feeling you get when you make it to the toilet when you have diarrhoea (lol) well I tell you, this was WAAAAAAAY better then that feeling and there is a great reward at the end. I feel like I've gone from a delirious crazy woman to rationality. Then I thought to myself, "Wow, I can do this, I did this, I can so do this again." 

They call the time at 10.57am but baby isn't breathing so they are furiously rubbing her and trying to get her to breath. I can feel that the midwives are somewhat frantic as they tell Llewellyn to push the emergency buzzer. The whole time I am relaxed, no panic entered my mind because I knew that she would be fine. 11am she was recorded as being born as she had taken her first breaths of life here on this world, finally to start her mortal journey with us. As I looked at her all I could think was how she was the most beautiful and perfect of anything I had, we had, ever made! I love her. I love her so much. My very own little brightness from the Heavens. 

I was praying and praying and praying in my heart. You know how Jesus knows all our pains, every one of them, during all of this, as I was praying, I guess I thought I felt a bit of what it may have felt like for Jesus as he prayed to Heavenly Father in Gethsemane.

She was so alert and strong, looking around at everyone and everything. I knew she was a special little girl.

My husband was soooo awesome during the whole birth. I say "water" he gave me water, when I was writhing in agony, he eased my pain. Thank you baby for being there for me, for us! I love you Llewellyn!

Thank you Heavenly Father. Thank you for entrusting us with this beautiful spirit to raise in righteousness. I pray for her everyday that she will be well and healthy. I pray for us everyday that we can be what she needs, that we can love her so much, that one day she can return home to our Father in Heaven knowing that she was loved so much that she was given a body to dwell on this earth, knowing that her parents loved her and wanted her to be with them forever. I love you so much my little girl. Mummy wants you to be mine and daddys forever. 

This is daddys favourite picture of baby when she was born.

Daddy having skin to skin cuddles with baby.

Our very curious little girl.

After all that, I feel like an athlete who wants to beat their own record! I am so geared up to do better in my next birth than I was able to this time. I want to be able to handle it and have the power to push the baby out and feel that I have the strength to do it. I can't wait - but I can... just for little while!